Diet Coke passed away from injuries sustained
from a Streetcar accident today, May 6, 2010, at age of 27 years old. Diet Coke was born in a small town somewhere
in the US. Diet Coke is survived by his
parents, Coca Cola, his siblings Coke Zero and Caffeine Free Diet Coke. Diet Coke is also survived my many cousins,
and distant relatives. Diet Coke was engaged to Diet Dr. Pepper, who currently
works on what ails you.
Diet Coke went to High School in Seattle Washington where he influenced many to become heavy supporters of his parents and was a graduate of Portland State University in Oregon where Diet Coke received a Bachelor’s degree in Energy Efficiency and Masters Degree in Quality Management. After graduation, Diet Coke stayed in Portland, Oregon and went on to take an internship at the local gym where Diet Coke hoped to make a difference in many young women’s lives, helping them to manage their sugar intake and help them shed those unwanted pounds and get them addicted to the delicious taste of success. Diet Coke then started his own work that included keeping many people around the world awake and alert as well as quenching thirst wherever possible. Diet Coke won many awards for this work and we will surely miss him now that he is gone.
Diet Coke’s hobbies included spending summers
on the Sandy and Columbia Rivers as well as camping in a myriad of places in
Oregon. He was also an avid golfer and
tennis player and played as often as possible.
He also liked spending time in cool places with his siblings for long
periods of time.
Diet Coke had the bubbliest personality that tickled your nose every time you were around him. His sense of humor was refreshing and his attitude made you think there was a silver lining to everything. Diet Coke will be painfully missed. He was what got many of us through the day. He was polite and tasteful, never said a bad word about those who had more sugar than himself. He had gone through much metamorphosis throughout his life. Once he added lime to his diet, then he tried lemon, and another time he overdosed on vitamins, we called him Diet Coke Plus. But through all his changes and different wardrobes we stood by him because he had an explosive personality and made us smile.
Diet Coke’s service will be held this
Saturday, May 8th at the Outlet Mall near the Vending Machines in
Woodburn, Oregon. The officiant will be
the Ladies Society of Oregon. Reception
will be held at the 7-11 down the street and a cash bar will be available.
There is only one way to sum up Diet Coke’s life - Unsweetened Joy.
Submitted by guest contributor, Jennifer Jorguson.
Yes, I too will miss Diet Coke for his bubbly personality and his help getting through the day. R.I.P.
Posted by: Melissa Berg | May 12, 2010 at 04:51 PM
Gotta say, DC was a close personal friend of mine and I find it shocking that he has left the earth so suddenly, without saying good bye. It was just yesterday, that I served several DCs' to a plethora of Seafood loving guests. I felt like their cups just couldn't stay full. Maybe the spirit of DC is stronger than its presence and we should keep it like this, because if all those middle aged men and women loose their justification for ordering more cheesy biscuits they will be so lost!
Long Live DC
Posted by: Ryan Graven | May 16, 2010 at 12:05 PM
Maybe it’s too soon but I knew Diet Coke for many years. I think that not all the aspects of his personality were presented in the obituary. He was a great guy who lived a full like and he will be missed. I was a great friend to the whole Coca-Cola family. My parents introduced me to Diet Coke and his older brother Coca-Cola when I was still in diapers. They were always hanging out together. So the three of us spent a lot of time together over the years. Diet Coke was always jealous of his older brother. I didn’t mind at first but it seems that he was always trying to copy Coca-Cola.
I remember he would often get mad when I noticed that he was trying to copy his brother’s style. One time in particular he showed up at a party and tried to mix with friends Whiskey and Rum. They didn’t get along as well as they did with Coca-Cola. I thought there was going to be a fight. I ended up having to ask him to leave because he just couldn’t fill his brother’s shoes. He always held that against me. I will still miss him greatly.
I remember a lot of great moments too. He and I used to hangout on hot days and he would keep me cool. I also remember a few times that he came through for me when no one else was around. I will remember him that way. A guy that always came through when I was out of options.
Posted by: Ryandwolf | May 16, 2010 at 09:37 PM
Diet Coke and I had a love hate relationship, and at the time of his death it was in the hate stage. Regardless, I am sad to see him go, and that I didn't attend his funeral at the outlet mall, were after the service I could have immediately started my retail therapy. Now the only thing left to do is drown my sorrows with a bottle of rum and Coke while I will sit and think to myself that if Diet Coke was still alive I wouldn't have gained that 140 calories per can.
Posted by: Rachel Mannai | May 29, 2010 at 03:49 AM
Creative writing everyone!! I'm just glad coke original is still with us!! Legends sure change, but as long as regular Coke is around, the legend continues. I never drank diet coke, stuff wasn't good for people anyway, so I can't say I'm direly moved by this change.
Posted by: Belal Albar | June 03, 2010 at 06:35 PM
Diet coke, I am sad to see you go. You brought much joy to those who couldn't have your brother Classic Coke for various reasons.
I am moved by this change because I couldn't even imagine not being able to have regular coke whenever I want. My heart goes out to those who are as addicted to diet coke as I am to regular coke.
Posted by: Natalie Phillips | June 03, 2010 at 10:02 PM